Just when Apple (NYSE: AAPL) needed a win, they appear to falling on their face. I recently covered how the Apple Watch is getting dominated by the Fitbit, and now it appears that their new phones are bound to disappoint as well. The leaks show that the phone is going to be thicker, heavier and have worse battery life than the previous generation. Those changes fly in the face of how the smartphone battles have been playing out, and it represents either a cunning shift toward a new type of device or an awful misstep on Apple’s part. I mean, size and battery life are all anyone talks about with regards to phones these days. Phones have been getting so thin I expected the new iPhone to disappear when it turned sideways. I thought it would be incredibly pretty but also slender to the point where you’re worried it might break if mishandled. I basically wanted the malnourished Parisian model of phones. It’s pretty well known that most people want thinner, faster, and longer lasting phones. You would think Apple would recognize this as well, considering the iPad and Macbook lines have followed this pattern. It’s a little bit like if you are dating the best guy or girl. You work well with them, finish their sentences and admire how they stay so fit. Plus they are totally low maintenance. They require very little energy to keep the relationship humming along. They also love pets, have a cabin to go skiing in the winter, and have a remarkably deep knowledge of the works of Tolstoy. (Phone metaphor is getting lost. I'll stop.) Now, imagine if six months after you started dating this person they had gained a spare tire around their waist and started demanding that you text them your whereabouts every hour on the hour. You’d be disappointed. You’d bemoan the fact that this once loved person was now bigger than you'd hoped and far more energy demanding. No one expects their partner to necessarily get thinner and less high maintenance, but even just maintaining the status quo would be nice. You’re now in the mind state of the average Apple investor. They have a right to be worried, because the world was hoping for a game changing handset, not the stumpy, stocky, Oompa Loompa of smartphones.